Loneliness is a sticky monster; a monster which, if it becomes attached to us, loves to whisper words of despair in our ear. It can happen in the quiet place at home. It can lurk when we sit with parents or friends for deep or casual conversation or when surrounded by crowds of noisy people. This unwelcome visitor loves to intrude, refusing to let us go. Loneliness is a bully, and its torment often pushes us into diverse places and philosophies where we would not normally choose to go. We desperately want to run away from it, only to find that it is much more difficult than we think. So we attempt to divert and subdue its torment by taking an “anaesthetic.” Many choose alcohol; some choose drugs; yet others smoke, or over-eat, or work excessively. Lawlessness abounds because this monster torments those in its grips to crave acceptance and love, and many steal, kill and destroy in their attempt to be someone who is accepted.

How could I even begin to overcome something that I could not identify or put a label on?  All I understood was that it needed to be anaesthetized to lessen the pain, and then perhaps the torment would go away.  But sadly, once the anaesthetic has taken effect, your senses become dulled to the point where you just don’t care anymore. 

I have discovered the first key to disarming and overcoming this monster is learning to look this fear right in the eye, declaring to it, I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU! Some adjustments will need to be made in our thinking so that we can accept solitude: learning to enjoy our own company without someone else always having to be around. Accepting solitude DOES NOT mean we accept being single all our life without a partner. In learning to accept solitude, the sticky monster now has no place to cling or attach himself to in our life. Therefore, he CANNOT exist, simply because we have now learned how to enjoy our own company, and solitude is our friend!

As Christians, we do not have to abide by the warped thinking of this unwelcome intruder . . . the Word of God says, “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God” (Romans 12:2).

The second key in overcoming loneliness is learning that when you’re alone you can still do the things you enjoy. The place of solitude is a quiet place of rest. The Russians call it poustinia or “desert.” My experience of the desert and its “deafening” silence came in Sudan. There is nothing to see or hear - no animal or bird, no wind, absolutely nothing that produces a sound, even though we strain our ears in the hope of hearing something - anything!  Solitude is this quietness. To enter into this desert, first close your eyes; learn to sit quietly and listen to yourself breathe - do not talk or pray, just sit and “accept” this quiet place. In time, it will grow on you and become more sacred to you. Loneliness will have no place to come because solitude belongs to God and you - you and God now possess it! 

Jesus experienced this same solitude when walking in the desert for forty days. A monster of a devil visited Him and proceeded to try and entice Him by the thoughts in His mind and the desires in His heart. But this monster was no match for the mighty Son of God Who used the Word of God, the Sword of the Spirit, to quote, “It is written . . .” (Matthew 4: 4, 7 & 10). Even after ministering to a vast crowd of people, Jesus extracted Himself to the place of solitude up a mountain, longing to be alone with His Father in prayer (Matthew 14:23).

The loneliness monster doesn’t want us to “like being alone” because it is here that God can communicate with us - speaking into our lives, moving in our lives. There is a special place between the Holy Spirit and us in solitude; a sacred place that is developed between God and us, and at any time or place, with or without friends. Loneliness has been replaced with a sacred place of communion. The Holy Spirit’s plans for us are revealed in greater depth in this place. We soon begin to realise that He is practical, and we become led more and more by the Holy Spirit as we develop this ear for listening to His voice ~ Kerry Wright.  

Bible  Readings:  

“Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).

“He leads me beside the still waters” (Psalm 23:2).  

Please Pray This Prayer:

“Dear Jesus, I surrender my desires and ambitions to You. I understand that You have timing for those things that I want, nevertheless not my will but Your’s be done. I live for Your glory, Father, and not my own. When I am troubled and lonely, help me to see a world outside my own circle so that I can live for You. In Jesus name I pray these things, Amen.”

The Gospel Faith Messenger Ministry,  New Zealand. Email: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.